CAR IN A VIRUS

I just listened to some bureaucratic government wonk talking on the radio about how long it will take for us to return to “normalacy” – presumably some weird blend of normality and fallacy. Call it what you will, it would be a fallacy to predict that consumer travel habits will get back to where they were pre-COVID-19 any time soon – at least that is, when looking at overseas travel.

When I was a kid, vacations were always something that involved us piling into the family car and setting off on what always seemed like very long drives. We would frequently leave in the evening and drive through the night because my father preferred nighttime driving when there were fewer trucks on the road. These nocturnal expeditions were all part of the excitement. Likewise, arriving bleary-eyed with the dawn at our ‘holiday’ destination was always quite magical – even when it was only to be told our rooms wouldn’t be ready for another five hours. This would in fact turn out to be excellent preconditioning for early morning flight arrivals into Europe in later life.

But that was then – in modern times taking a vacation almost always starts with a trip to the airport. It’s no coincidence that 66% of Canadians own a passport, compared to only 42% of Americans – we like to travel and that usually means leaving the country. With the so-called ‘new norm’ however, that may well change. Even as social distancing and other COVID-induced restrictions are relaxed, concerns about mingling in big airport crowds and CATSA lines then sitting next to strangers on a commercial flight, could linger for some time to come. As a result good old-fashioned road trips could suddenly be very much in vogue again – with gas prices being at their lowest level in years as a very positive bonus.

“Staycations” – a made-up word I have always deplored – are unlikely to be an option. After the entire country has been under house arrest for what seems like an eternity, the thought of voluntarily staying at home for a vacation has surely lost a lot of its appeal. I mean, how many times can you clean out the attic, the basement and the garage? We have a three-car garage, but until last week, thanks to the accumulated clutter, had never managed to fit more than one (small) car in there: It’s amazing what one dumpster-load can achieve!

It’s an odd fact that is true of many nationalities, how a preponderance of travelers spend more time exploring other countries than they do their own. Sometimes even places that are relatively close by can remain a mystery. I have friends in Toronto that have never visited Montreal or Quebec City and vice versa. Or there’s my brother’s family in the north of England, who hardly ever venture as far south as London. In Connecticut, where I now live, I have many friends and neighbors who “ooh” and “aah” about how much they would like to visit Montreal as if it were a million miles away – it’s an easy, and quite beautiful, five or six hour drive away for goodness sake!

If Destination Canada cares to give it a shot, this latter group should represent easy pickings from coast to coast. Some years ago I wrote a column here in the form of an open letter to what was then the CTC. In it I politely suggested they advertise in every US city within an easy drive of the border – places like New York City, Boston, Detroit, Minneapolis, Seattle, and Portland – announcing “Visit Canada Now – Everything On Sale”. At the time the USD/CAD exchange rate equated to a discount of about 20% – today it’s more like 30%! As soon as the border opens up and Americans are looking for places to drive to, this group should be an easy sell: A combination of almost CAD 1.40 per greenback and cheap gas is a pretty compelling reason to finally visit the Great White North.

Now of course – gas prices notwithstanding – that loony low loonie 70-cent exchange rate works as somewhat of a disincentive for anyone looking at driving south. So why not make the next couple of years Catch-up-on-Canada time? As you all know – just ask any one of the record 22.1 million international visitors in 2019 – Canada is home to some of the most breathtakingly beautiful scenery on the planet. And if you’re concerned about social distancing – only 37 million locals inhabiting the world’s second largest country equates to an average of only four Canucks per square kilometer – unlike the elbow-to- elbow US with 36 per.

So, if I have made my case for escaping the home but staying in the homeland, here are just a few of the trips you should consider recommending and/or doing – and I’d love to hear from anyone reading this who has done them all – or even most.

• The famous Cabot Trail – 298 kms. of spectacular valley and coastal views
• The Icefields Parkway – truly one of the world’s most scenic highways
• BC’s Sea-to-Sky Highway – start at sea level and whistle your way to Whistler
• From Montreal to the Gaspé Peninsula – learn to speak ‘Jersey Norman’
• From Kelowna – A wine-filled road trip around the Okanagan Valley
• The Chatham-Kent Corridor by bike or by boat
• Vancouver Island and Bowen Island (drop in on my daughter)
• The 24,000 km Trans-Canada Trail (The Great Trail) from Atlantic to Pacific
• The spectacular Bay of Fundy with its 50 foot tides
• Gros Morne National Park – the staggeringly beautiful, 1,805 square km UNESCO World Heritage site

And let’s be honest, it’s just so much easier to throw your bags in the back of the car and take off without taking off. No worrying about flight delays, missed connections or the annoying stranger in the next seat who wants to tell you his life story. Now all you have to worry about is the kids asking, “Are we nearly there yet?” and “How far to the next mini-golf?”

Bon voyage.