I love listening to your clients talking about their vacation. And just sometimes I can’t resist offering advice to my friends who ask for it. “I want to be in Puerto Vallarta” said a friend of mine. I knew just the place for her. Ocean front, beautiful spacious suite, handy for shopping. Perfect! Well, not so much. “I hated it” she said. “I don’t know why you suggested it.

“We always sleep with the air off and the screen door open. It was so loud, night and day we couldn’t hear ourselves think, and there was no screen.”

Noise?

“The sound of the ocean was unbearable.”

Who knew?

But sometimes you don’t know the questions to ask. I had a request for advice from a couple we didn’t know well. They wanted a wonderful 5-star all-inclusive to celebrate their anniversary. I spent a long time trying to help. Finally, she decided on a property I had suggested and off they went. When they got back, I couldn’t wait to talk to them. “How was it?”

“Our anniversary was ruined. The maid didn’t come to clean the room and leave clean towels till 4pm. And there was only one hook on the back of the bathroom door for dressing gowns. I couldn’t recommend it,” she said.

A couple from Stoney Creek was going to have an earful for their agent when they got home from their river cruise. “Don’t like it at all, we like big cruise ships where we can check off bucket list famous sites in a week…. Like Paris, Rome, Venice, Sydney. These river cruises that stop in small towns don’t do it for us.”

One of the saddest conversations I’ve ever had was with a couple spending two weeks at a resort in Anguilla. They had asked their agent for a quiet intimate resort with a great beach. But they didn’t say, they wanted to meet other guests. In 12 days, I was the first person who talked to them. This lovely resort was so upscale the other guests brought their nanny and security guards, and weren’t about to meet strangers and socialize.

I always ask people I meet on property if they’re having a good time. I get some surprising answers:

Are you enjoying the cruise? “No, I’m used to eating hot cereal every day, and they don’t have any.”

How’s your holiday going? “Well, I booked an all-inclusive resort so I didn’t have to pay for drinks. I only drink Canadian Club and they don’t have any. My agent should have told me, I’ll never come to Cuba again.”

We were staying at the Royal Hideaway Playacar a while ago, and when we strolled by the hot tub, I recognized a familiar accent. “We came from Australia to Las Vegas for a “bloke’s getaway to support the groom,” said one of the four young men.” We’ve been awake and partying for days.

We had another week, and a travel agent in Vegas told us if we wanted to rest, the Hideaway would be perfect.” The Hideaway is perfect in a lot of ways, but not for party animals. “How was the Front Desk when you checked in” I asked.

“Funny you should ask, they seemed a bit dubious about us when we arrived, but check-in was fine. Then they went off for their rest, for several days before resurfacing. They loved the property, enjoyed the food, and especially the proximity to Coco Bongo, and the other night clubs in Playa del Carmen.

As always, people think they can get things cheaper … the guests in the back of the truck with their luggage bragged they could get a much better 60-minute transfer on their own.

But my very favourite guest comment, came from a couple staying in a junior suite where there is no separation between the bathroom and the rest of the suite. Lounging in the garden was a guest who said he and his new girlfriend were having a wonderful time, but she made him leave whenever she needed the bathroom. At this point in the conversation the “girlfriend” appeared.

“Oh we don’t know each other well enough for that kind of a room.”

Great memories of how we can’t please everybody.