Toilet-dwelling pythons, fake news about smuggled eyelashes, and competitive eating exploits are among the stories served up in these week’s tales of the strange but true…

BUY AMERICAN

Three thousand pairs of false eyelashes were seized by US Customs and Border Protection agents after officials determined they were illegally imported from China to New Orleans. The four boxes of long lashes were destined for a local beauty supply store but hadn’t been approved by the federal Food and Drug Administration, thus were subject to disease, infestation or hazardous materials. Unlabelled, non-FDA-approved false lashes are often seized in New Orleans, but officials said this shipment was “particularly large.”

FLUSH TWICE?

A man in Austria was bitten by a 1.6-m. python during an early-morning visit to the toilet. The reptile apparently escaped from a neighbour’s apartment and may have slithered through the drains. The 65-year-old victim “felt a ‘nip’ in the genital area” shortly after sitting on the toilet at home in Graz just after 6 a.m., according to police. He then looked into the toilet and discovered the albino reticulated python. A reptile expert was called to retrieve the snake, which was cleaned and returned to his owner. The victim sustained only minor injuries.

FISH STORY

Officials in Minnesota said they’re finding more giant goldfish in waterways, prompting a plea to citizens to stop illegally dumping their unwanted fish into ponds and lakes. The goldfish, which can grow to the size of a football, compete with native species for food and increase algae in lakes and can survive in frozen lakes and those with very poor water quality because they can live without oxygen for long periods

Officials in the Twin Cities suburb of Burnsville found 28 fish in Keller Lake recently while doing a water quality survey, some of them 46 cm long and weighing about 1.8 kg. They were ultimately killed.

STRIKING DISCOVERY

A Michigan man made a striking discovery under his house when he went to demolish his back stairs: about 160 bowling balls. David Olson said he found one ball buried in the sand behind cinder blocks this month and continued finding more over the following days. “I was actually a little happy about that because it’s a little easier to roll bowling balls out of the way than to move the sand and figure out where to put all that,” he said.

Olson contacted Brunswick Bowling Products, which had a plant in the area and was told the balls were made in the 1950s and that scrapped ones were often used as an alternative to gravel or sand. He has donated some and plans to give others to the Muskegon Heritage Museum. The rest he’ll use the rest for landscaping or to make sculptures.

WHAT A HEEL!

Ukraine’s defense minister was under pressure from members of the government over the decision to have female military cadets wear pumps with heels in an important parade. “The purpose of any military parade is to demonstrate the military ability of the army. There should be no room for stereotypes and sexism,” said a joint statement from three Cabinet members, including Minister of Veterans Affairs Yulia Laputina. The military offered no explanation as to why female cadets were wearing a different type of shoe than male cadets.

BURP

A competitive eater wolfed down 50 chili dogs in 22 minutes, setting a local record at a bar in western Michigan where thousands of customers have their names on the wall for eating just a fraction. Molly Schuyler showed up and just started eating at The Corner Bar in Rockford while other customers watched with their own meals. After 19 minutes, she had eaten 44 hot dogs. Another competitive eater, Tim “Eater X” Janus, ate 43 1/2 chili dogs at the bar in 2006. Anyone who eats 12 in four hours gets their name on the wall.

Meanwhile, in Key West, Fla., 25 competitors indulged their appetites for the Florida Keys’ signature dessert July 4 in Key West, but nobody did it faster than Nicholas Luera. The Seattle resident won the World Key Lime Pie Eating Championship, scarfing down an entire nine-inch pie topped with whipped cream in just 2 minutes, 13.5 seconds – without using his hands, per contest rules.

Luera’s winning strategy included competing shirtless and plunging face-first into the pie, emerging with whipped cream coating his cheeks, nose, and eyelashes. The southernmost answer to New York’s famed Fourth of July hotdog-eating contest, the Key West consumption competition was a highlight of the island city’s annual Key Lime Festival.

HAPPY ENDING

A Massachusetts man has returned long overdue books that were checked out in the 1920s and 1930s to the Somerville Public Library. The books were stored in a wooden box in the attic of the family’s home until it was sold in 2010 and belonged to the man’s aunt, who died in 1937 at the age of 16 from the flu. After the move, Bob Alvarez moved the box into his basement and never examined the contents until June, at which point he returned the books to the library. The venue declined to charge a late fee and has displayed the books along with a note explaining how they made their way back decades after they were checked out.