Pancakes, tofu and (oddly, more than one story about) mollusks all prompted wacky tales this week, as alas, human behaviour never ceases to amaze. Oh, and there’s at least one item we’re certain will make you laugh.
WELL, THE FOOD WAS REALLY BAD
Two inmates in a Virginia jail used primitively made tools, including one from a toothbrush, to create a hole in the wall of their cell and escape. Though smart enough to break out of prison using toiletries, the geniuses, two men aged 37 and 43, managed to get caught hours later at a nearby IHOP after being recognized by patrons, who immediately called the police.
AND THAT WOULD BE PROHIBITED
Six giant African land snails were found in the luggage of a traveller who flew to Michigan from Ghana. The mollusks, which can carry diseases that affect humans, were discovered and seized during an agriculture inspection at the Detroit airport. The man transporting the snails is a resident of west African country and said they were to be eaten. He was released without further actions.
WHO DOESN’T LOVE TOFU?
Maine had for several years allowed people to put just about any combination of letters and numbers on their vehicle plates, including words and phrases that other states would ban. But the state decided to change course and this year recalled 274 plates it deemed inappropriate. Some people are fighting back. So, far the state has rejected all of the appeals, including one brought by a avowed vegan whose license plate referenced tofu. The state concluded the license plate “LUVTOFU” could’ve been seen as a reference to sex instead of admiration for bean curd. The motorist insisted there was no mistaking his intent because the back of his car had several tofu-related stickers. “It’s my protest against eating meat and animal products,” the disappointed motorist said.
SNOW JOB
A Republican lawmaker in New Hampshire was arrested for allegedly screaming and swearing at a snowplow truck operator who recorded the confrontation and later reported him to police. “He just started giving me hell, and I didn’t know what was going on,” plow operator Paul Manson said. “He was upset because… I was putting it all in his driveway, which I’m going to be honest with you, that’s what I do,” he said. “My job is to get the snow off the road. And I feel bad most of the time because I do put snow back in people’s driveway, and I really can’t help it.” Manson said he realizes it’s no fun to shovel out after a snowplow passes, but he said public servants don’t deserve to be attacked.
BADGERS A BIG BOTHER
Badgers burrowing under rail tracks have halted trains in the Netherlands, forcing lengthy cancellations on at least two lines. All trains were halted Tuesday afternoon on a busy line between the southern cities of Den Bosch and Boxtel after the animals dug into a dike carrying rails. The national railway company said the line would be out of service for at least a week. The digging means “the rails can subside and then the safety of train traffic can no longer be guaranteed,” said the company.
HONK IF YOU LIKE CONCH
An Ontario woman and a man from Georgia won their respective categories at the recent Key West’s annual Conch Shell Blowing Contest (photo), each using different techniques to impress Saturday’s judges. Brian Cardis played the Jimmy Buffett song “Fins” on a pink-lined conch shell with holes so it can be played like a flute, while Carol Whiteley blew a long, loud blast with her shell to best other competitors.
Cardis said he began blowing the marine mollusk shell about 10 years ago during a family visit to Key West, adapting techniques he learned playing the trumpet as a child. “You sort of have to just buzz your lips when you’re blowing into it,” Cardis said. “You have to make a ‘pffft’ noise with your lips in order to generate the sound.” Whiteley said she plays the shell at her riverside home to celebrate sunsets. Judges evaluated entrants ranging from children to seniors on the quality, novelty, duration, and loudness of sounds they produced.
BUT DID SHE MISS THE HOMEWORK?
A 29-year-old woman accused of using false documents to enroll as a New Jersey high school student and attend some classes over a four-day period did so because she was lonely and longed to return to her days with friends in school, her lawyer said. The woman is a South Korean citizen who came to the United States by herself when she was 16 to attend a private boarding school, the lawyer said, adding she had no nefarious intentions and was just seeking to return to “a place of safety and welcoming and an environment that she looks back on fondly.”