Remember “Weekend at Bernie’s”? Two Irish guys did. Then there’s a fishing tall tale in Miami, Florida’s falling iguanas, a laughable logo, and an utterly asinine feud in West Virginia that doesn’t get any weirder and wackier.
WEEKEND AT PADDY’S
Police in Ireland are investigating reports that the body of a dead man was brought to a post office in an attempt to collect his pension. The man who appeared to be in his 60s was dragged into the post office in the town of Carlow and propped up by two younger men. When questioned by staff, the two fled, leaving behind the older man, who was found to be dead.
Reports say one of the younger men had inquired about collecting someone’s pension and was told that the recipient had to be present. With the help of a companion, he allegedly returned with the dead man’s body. Town mayor Ken Murnane said the allegations had left townspeople in shock. “It’s just mind-boggling that anyone could happen to do something like that,” he said. “It beggars belief. It’s like a Hitchcock movie.” One of the men told The Irish Times the deceased man was his uncle, but claimed he didn’t know the man was dead and thought that, perhaps, he’d died on the walk to the post office.
DON’T FORGET YOUR (HARD) HAT
A cold snap in Florida, like the one experienced last weekend, is different than in other places. For example, while snow is not likely to fall from the sky, iguanas just might. The reptiles are an invasive species that are well accustomed to the trees of South Florida, but when it gets cold, below 4 degrees C, they go into a sort of suspended animation mode – and they fall to the ground, with the potential to seriously harm passersby below. Indeed, weathercasts in the state occasionally offer “falling iguana” warnings to alert viewers to the danger. As for the iguanas, well, they usually wake up with the sun’s warmth, none the worse for wear.
BETTE THE BUTT OF THE JOKE
Ah, America, land of civilized discourse. Gov. Jim Justice had a message for singer and actress Bette Midler, who called West Virginians “poor, illiterate and strung out” in a tweet after state Sen. Joe Manchin refused to support President Joe Biden’s Build Back Better Act. The 70-year-old Republican governor ended his recent televised State of the State address by lifting up his English bulldog and flashing its rear end to the cameras and crowd (photo). “Babydog tells Bette Midler and all those out there: Kiss her Heinie!” he said, grinning as people applauded and gave him a standing ovation. In response, Midler tweeted that the dog’s heinie would make a better governor than Justice, though she used a stronger word than that.
PASS THE MASH
Two female cellmates at a prison in Augsburg, Germany began throwing mashed potatoes at each other following a disagreement. Then one woman threw her entire plate at the other, who responded in kind. The situation then escalated into a brawl in which both inmates were injured. A court in the southern town of Augsburg sentenced one defendant to pay a fine of €2,700 ($3,900) while the other received a fine of €1,800 ($2,560). If they fail to pay, the women can spend another 180 or 120 days behind bars, respectively.
YOU SHOULDA SEEN THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
A man and his 11-year-old grandson found a little more than they were looking for during a weekend fishing trip. The pair pulled two .50-caliber Barrett sniper rifles out of a canal near Miami. Duane Smith saw a YouTube video on magnet fishing and decided to give it a try, dropping a 2-kg magnet in the canal. They “caught” 18 kgs worth of guns (not loaded) that had the serial numbers filed off. “Whoever did this is not your run-of-the-mill criminal,” said Smith, a former Army infantry officer, who handed over the weapons to police.
CAN’T IMAGINE WHY
Florence, Alabama’s new logo – utilizing the first three letters of its name – a capital F followed by an L and an O arranged as an exclamation point to form ‘FO!’ – might be sending the wrong message, some resident fear. When the city unveiled the new logo, it drew immediate backlash and an online petition demanding changes that had nearly 7,500 signatures. The city paid $25,000 for the branding and defended the result with Mayor Andy Betterton stating that the new branding “will serve multiple needs and audiences as our community grows and moves forward.” One city councillor, however, apologized in a letter to residents for the logo, which “has brought so much disappointment to our great city” and promised to take up the issue with the mayor.
NO FLASH IN THE PAN
A bolt of lightning that stretched across three US states is the new world record holder for longest flash. The single flash extended 768 km. across Texas, Louisiana and Mississippi in April 2020, the World Meteorological Organization confirmed this week. That beat the old record set in 2018 in Brazil of 709 km. Also in 2020, a single lightning flash over Uruguay and northern Argentina lasted 17.1 seconds, nipping the old record of 16.7 seconds. Normally lightning doesn’t stretch farther than 16 km and lasts less than a second, according to WMO spokesman Randall Cerveny. “These two lightning flash records are absolutely extraordinary,” he said, noting the “megaflashes” are not linked to climate change.