19 JAN 2017:  It’s not too late to jump on a plane and snag some front row seats for tomorrow’s big political lollapalooza in Washington. As of Wednesday it was looking as if the attendance for the inauguration of POTUS 45 could turn out to be the worst in modern American history. While Barack Obama’s 2009 inauguration drew a record crowd estimated at 1.8 million, Friday’s attendance is being optimistically forecast at about one third that number.

You should be aware however that the entertainment might not be up to the customary high standard, with reports that, as of a few days ago, The Donald’s people had only been able to draw a few D.C. area cocktail bar singers and a steel mill polka band from Pittsburgh. It was also reported that as a contingency plan Karaoke machines were being brought in for fear that the aforementioned entertainers change their mind.

Okay, perhaps a slight exaggeration there but in all seriousness the list thus far for Friday falls a tad shy of the superstar power of past events. At his 2009 inauguration Barack Obama’s entertainment list read like a Who’s Who of the music business with (among others): Yo Yo Ma, Bruce Springsteen, Mary J. Blige, Jon Bon Jovi, James Taylor, John Legend, John Mellencamp, will.i.am, Herbie Hancock, Sheryl Crow, Garth Brooks, Stevie Wonder Usher, Shakira, U2, Pete Seeger, and of course, just to round it off, Beyoncé.

Since Elton John, Céline Dion, Andrea Bocelli and others declined invitations to perform, this Fridays headliners (I use the word loosely) are, 3 Doors Down, Toby Keith, The Rockettes (well at least “some” of them), the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (which will swell the attendance numbers just by being there), and … drum roll please, “America’s Got Talent” runner-up Jackie Evancho. It seems the winner was either too busy or nobody could recall his or her name.

Now some might think this was a case of sour grapes but just a couple of days ago the president-elect tweeted that he didn’t want any celebrities, writing: “The so-called ‘A’ list celebrities are all wanting tixs to the inauguration, but look what they did for Hillary, NOTHING. I want the PEOPLE!”

Then, in a downright bizarre statement, Tom Barrack, chairman of the Trump inaugural committee told reporters, “We’re fortunate in that we have the greatest celebrity in the world, which is the president-elect, side by side is the current president… So what we’ve done, instead of trying to surround him with what people consider A-Listers, we are going to surround him with the soft sensuality of the place. It’s much more poetic cadence than having a circus-like celebration that’s a coronation.”

Seriously? You don’t make this stuff up.  Read that again please, because you may never again see the words “soft sensuality” and “poetic cadence” in any news item including the name Trump.

Perhaps put off by the musical talent or lack thereof, a growing list of congressional representatives have pledged to boycott the event and a D.C. councilman leaked the word that only 200 bus parking applications have been received for Friday’s swearing-in compared to the 1,200 received for the women’s protest march on Saturday, for which some 200,000 are expected.

If the latter is more your style check out the website where it explains that, “The Women’s March on Washington will send a bold message to our new government on their first day in office and to the world that women’s rights are human rights. We stand together, recognizing that defending the most marginalized among us is defending all of us.”

Some have speculated that by the time you read this The Donald will have realized this could indeed be a YUGE embarrassment and take to his beloved twitter with some kind of a special offer to lure attendees – like a free night at his (soon to be announced) Trump Red Square Hotel, or a set of Trump-branded steak knives (made in Taiwan) for anyone that makes it all the way to the end of the ceremony.

Now that’s worth waiting for – Ottawa has nothing on this!