Yesterday, as I confronted yet another exciting day of going absolutely nowhere, I found myself singing this little song under my breath: While hardly Shakespearean, it is certainly wise advice for today’s ‘new world’ challenges.

It begins…
“Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you’re chewing on life’s gristle
Don’t grumble, give a whistle
And this’ll help things turn out for the best
And always look on the bright side of life
Uh-hum, Uh-hum – Uh-hum, Uh-hum, Uh-hum”

As many of you will (I hope) recall, so sang Monty Python’s Eric Idle in that iconic crucifixion scene at the end of the 1979 movie, The Life of Brian. It’s not hard to imagine that the song has become a favourite anthem in the UK for soccer fans – usually when their team is losing badly. It is apparently also sung at funerals: presumably for deceased Python fans – the film did come out 41-years ago.

This week another song-for-the-times came from none other than Neil Diamond. Playing with his famous ‘Sweet Caroline’ lyrics – much beloved by Boston Red Sox fans for the “Bom-Bom-Bom” chorus – the 79-year-old singer/composer performed this slightly amended verse:

“Hands, Washing hands,
Reaching out,
Don’t touch me,
I won’t touch you.
Sweeeet Caroline
Bom-Bom-Bom”

Solid instructions that should perhaps be sung by Donald Trump and his backing group, ‘The Sycophants” at his daily press non-briefings: You know, the ones that feature half-a-dozen people all scrunched up together on a tiny stage – so much for leading by example with the social distancing thing. It was however good to hear from him yesterday that all of this is going to behind us by Easter. That’s when we’re, “going to have packed churches all over the country.” It kind of reminded me of Chamberlain’s “Peace in our times” announcement – and how come Justin doesn’t know about this?

But back to the sadly real world, doing the song parody rounds is another perhaps more obvious but quite hilarious revisionary version of the 1979 hit ‘My Sharona’ by The Knack. Performed by a facemask-wearing Chris Mann it begins…

“I need toilet paper, toilet paper toilet paper,
I’m out of toilet paper, it’s my Corona”

Then there’s Minnesotan, Brittany Barkholtz. A Billy Joel fan, she was unable to sleep one night and decided to rework the 1989 hit ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ which listed 100 or so people and events from 1949-1989. The 2000 version goes:

“Schools close,
Tom Hanks,
Trouble in the big banks,
No vaccine,
Quarantine,
No more toilet paper seen.
Travel ban,
Weinstein,
Panic COVID-19,
NBA, gone away,
What else do I have to say?”

But, as a lifelong Queen fan, my favourite of this new musical genre has got to the work of Dana Jay Bein, a comedian from Cambridge, Massachusetts. He decided to transform Queen’s brilliant epic Bohemian Rhapsody into an equally brilliant, “Coronavirus Rhapsody.” Posted in a series of 12 tweets it begins:

“Is this a sore throat? Is this just allergies?
Caught in a lockdown. No escape from reality.
Don’t touch your eyes. Just hand sanitize quickly.
I’m just a poor boy, no job security.
Because of easy spread, even though
Washed your hands, laying low.
I looked out the window, the curve doesn’t look flatter to me, to me.”

So, despite the current near-apocalyptical state of our everyday lives and the industry we love, please try to keep smiling – as Brian/Eric Idle sang from his cross:

“Cheer up ya old bugga,
C’mon give us a grin,
Look on the right side of life.”