Okay folks, the following maybe isn’t strictly about travel but I’m just easing myself back into writing on a weekly basis, so please consider this a warm-up week. In any case, I just received the following staggering badly executed email attempt at a scam and felt compelled to address it with someone, so bear with me please. The email reads as follows:

“I’m Sgt. Anna Sukaru of the US Army base in Syria for peace keeping I found your contact detail in a address journal am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $10,000,000.00 to you as long as I am assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here. This is not stolen money and there are no dangers involved. I count on your understanding. Best regards Anna

I mean… come on! It’s a laugh-out-loud atrocity of a scam. And yet, given the frequency of such ill-contrived extortion attempts, one can only assume that there must be people out there who are sufficiently cretinous to respond to such crap. While the experts say one must under no circumstances respond but instead delete such things immediately, I always find it awfully tempting to reply – maybe with something along the lines of:

“Thank you sergeant for your most generous message. I am so flattered that out of 330 million US residents you have picked me as the person to whom you want to ‘evacuate’ your ten million dollars. I was also so relieved to hear this money was not stolen – where did it come from, winnings on the Syrian Peacekeeper Lottery perhaps? Anyway I am sending you all of my bank account information – with passwords – and look forward to babysitting your cash until you complete your overseas posting. Oh yes, and thank you for your service.”

The old favourite used to be the so-called ‘Nigerian Prince Letter’. This was usually some variation on, “I am second cousin to an uncle of the former Nigerian Minister of Finance and we need your help to move a gazillion dollars out of the country …bladiblah.” As old hat as that seems, according to ADT, over the past three years, these Nigerian-based scams are still taking victims for an average of $2,133.

Of late, senders such as the good Sergeant Sukaru, have clearly decided that claiming to be in the military chums the water more effectively. The majority of this online skullduggery however now sees the lonely heart as the fastest way to open a wallet.

Through the website military.com, officials warn those involved in online dating to proceed with extreme caution when corresponding with anyone claiming to be serving in Syria, Afghanistan or elsewhere. On its homepage, the website cautions: “Are you dating or talking online to someone who says they are a military member? Have they asked you for funds or documents? You might be looking for true love, but chances are good that you are the victim of one of thousands of military romance scams conducted every day.” And yet stories still abound on these lovelorn victims being ripped off for cash to pay for transportation, medical fees, communications costs and even – believe it or not – marriage certificate processing fees. All things considered, maybe this should be dubbed ‘PayPalimony’. Did I just hear a yah, boo, hiss? Sorry, just couldn’t resist it!

I’m sure there has to be a travel element to this story if you dig deeply enough. Travel to Nigeria perhaps?